Thrill.

This is both an illustration of what the rapture MIGHT have looked like yesterday (inside joke to my fellow 509ers), and an unfortunate image to enhance the following overused roller coaster metaphor. Perhaps with this in mind, you will excuse the cliche. If not, just enjoy the look on left front guy's face.

I woke up from a nap this afternoon with an anticipation that felt like a burning in my stomach and chest. You know that feeling when you are waiting in line for a rollercoaster? …or the one you get as it is clicking its way to the peak of the first major drop?

Thrilled.
I am THRILLED.

All of a sudden I am uncontrollably, unimaginably excited about this move to South East Asia. Before, I was just trying to survive my final semester of classes. Now, my body is buzzing with an adventurous spirit born out of a holy trust.

I trust God.

This realization was so blissful that I could not imagine going back to sleep. I had to share it… with my family, with my friends, with those who I have yet to meet in person, and with those who also are on a path towards submitting their lives to Christ.

HE has reminded me that there is nothing that I can do to earn His blessing. As much as a strive to do things on my own, and as much as I despair when they inevitably fail, He provides in His perfect timing.

It was a silly yard sale.

I poured all of my time and energy into a community yard sale this past weekend. Many people from the 509 donated items to sell as a fundraiser for our missions work. I drove 5 hours to and from my hometown to retrieve an SUV laboriously packed of things to sell by my father. I woke up very very early after late nights of organizing to haul out tables from the church’s basement and boxes of stuff to display. Friends came to help despite the early morning and the heat.

Not many people came. Many people sloooooowly drove by to check out the sale… and then kept going. I was very discouraged. I felt like a failure. I wanted to take the financial provision for the move into my own hands. Hear this, I’m not saying that partnering with God is wrong. He graciously chooses to involve us in the unfolding of His plan. What I am saying is that when we expect to be blessed because of our own labor, we labor in vain.

God gives because He loves… not because we have found a formula for blessing.

So we wait. We pray and we wait. We labor in love and not in expectation.

It is amazingly freeing to realize that this adventure’s success is not going to happen because of my striving. Colin and I are on a rollercoaster of God’s design, and we are going exactly where we should be.